Why?

Probably the last thing you’d expect on a sunny Saturday morning in leafy Toowoomba…….

I was driving along by Lake Annand in the MX5, when suddenly – Bang!

Half a brick landed on the bonnet about 40cms ahead of the bottom of the windscreen. By the time I’d stopped and figured out what happened, the perpetrators had scarpered.

There were perpetrators -  the bloke sitting on his front veranda heard the bang, came out to discover its origin, and told me about the kids who lob things at cars and hide under a pedestrian bridge across the lake.

We (he and I) went looking, but they were long gone – probably just as well. The result of that same half brick being jammed somewhere obvious would not have been pretty.

I reported it to the police (this will help with the insurance claim). They didn’t seem to be at all surprised. Apparently it’s pretty common.

It could have been worse. I could have been driving with the top down – could have worn the brick in my face. It could have landed 50cms further back and gone through the windscreen, or 60cms further back and landed on the soft top. MX5 convertable tops are pretty sturdy, but I don’t think they’re brick proof.

As to why? Possibly someone’s been watching coverage of the British riots and was inspired. The cost of a new bonnet (aluminium on the MX5) is about the same as a one-way fare to Blighty. Aluminium is beyond most local panel-beaters.

I’d cheerfully deport them to the UK, reversing what happened two hundred years ago.

Automotive Authenticity

In the Old Dart you can buy a "new" MGB off the showroom floor.

The question is, of course, why would you?

I’ve driven MGBs, and they’re characterized by heavy steering, leaks, and dodgy mechanical reliability.

The Mazda MX5 offers everything the MGB did, but it’s watertight and reliable.

This may be the solution. These things come with MX5 engines and trannies. The whole body shell is beefed up, and they’re trimmed with state of the art materials.

The question remains, however – why would you buy one?

You can get a new MX5 for less than half the ask in the UK.

If you really want an MG, just buy an MX5 and some octagon badges, and substitute them for the Mazda logos. A good panel beater would do this for a couple of hundred dollars.

The MG Rover trademark is owned by the Chinese these days, so authenticity is relative in 2011.

Critters

On the way back from our break at the beach last week, we called in for a cuppa at my brother’s place.

He’s made an art form of buying homes and renovating them, and making lots of money in the process. He has the uncanny ability of sizing up a bargain with potential, and also the ability to actually do the bulk of the work.

He has obviously inherited all the renovation genes in our family of six. At last count he had renovated five houses, and the one in the mountains behind the Sunshine Coast is the sixth.

As we were about to leave, my daughter spied a furry creature under our car. It was a woozy looking rat. Brother had used Ratsak because he thought he’d heard them scuttling around underneath his project house. He was right – they were setting up residence.

Anyway, the rat simply disappeared, and what was stranger, my brother and his wife didn’t see it after we drove off.

We drove the 150kms home, and put the car in the garage.

I had to drive west the next day to do three days work in schools, so didn’t give it a second thought.

My bride phoned on Monday night. She was not pleased. There was a horrible smell emanating from the garage. Obviously the aforementioned rat had found a place to die somewhere in the bowels of the car. Fortunately you can’t smell it from inside the car, but it’s not much fun to be standing downwind.

What’s the solution?

Our pet canine is part terrier, and I used her nose to tell me that the critter is in a housing above and in front of the offside front wheel. It can’t be reached without some minor dismantling.

The car needs new tyres, so I’ll phone around until I can find a company that will throw in rodent removal with a good deal on 205/45 87VR16s.

I’m not in the mood for rodent removal.

Update:

I wasn't in the mood for it today, either, but I took Cav's advice.

That's the last bloody time I'll ever do that.

What he should have advised was -
1. Fetch someone with good eyesight unencumbered by graduated lenses (daughter).
2. Fetch something with excellent olfactory skills (small dog).
3. Then jack car up and take wheel off.

What actually happened was that I followed Cav's advice, and ended up with wheel arch liner and plastic undertray detached, but still no sign of rat. The smell was emphatic, so I fetched the dog who immediately became very interested in the n/s disc brake assembly.

Daughter spied what was left of the rat who had been well and truly mashed by the first brake application. It had perched on top of the calliper. It was well hidden on the inside (rear) of the calliper.

It took one minute to remove what was left of the rat using a set of disposable gloves, and two hours and a lot of bad language (moderated somewhat by daughter's presence) to reassemble the car.

One Myth Debunked

You've probably heard the phrase "they don't make them like they used to" as applied to motor vehicles.


It's probably just as well when you look at the results of a staged collision between two Chevs, one a 2009 Malibu and the other a 1959 Bel Air.


It was set up by the US Insurance Institute for Highway Safety.


The accompanying blurb explains -


In the 50 years since US insurers organized the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, car crashworthiness has improved. Demonstrating this was a crash test conducted on Sept. 9 between a 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air and a 2009 Chevrolet Malibu. In a real-world collision similar to this test, occupants of the new model would fare much better than in the vintage Chevy.

"It was night and day, the difference in occupant protection," says Institute president Adrian Lund. What this test shows is that automakers don't build cars like they used to. They build them better."

The crash test was conducted at an event to celebrate the contributions of auto insurers to highway safety progress over 50 years. Beginning with the Institute's 1959 founding, insurers have maintained the resolve, articulated in the 1950s, to "conduct, sponsor, and encourage programs designed to aid in the conservation and preservation of life and property from the hazards of highway accidents."

A decade after the Institute was founded, insurers directed this organization to begin collecting data on crashes and the cost of repairing vehicles damaged in crashes. To lead this work and the Institute's expanded research program, insurers named a new president, William Haddon Jr., who already was a pioneer in the field of highway safety. In welcoming Dr. Haddon, Thomas Morrill of State Farm said "the ability to bring unbiased scientific data to the table is extremely valuable." This scientific approach, ushered in by Dr. Haddon, is a hallmark of Institute work. It's why the Institute launched the Highway Loss Data Institute in 1972 — to collect and analyze insurance loss results to provide consumers with model-by-model comparisons.

Another Institute milestone was the 1992 opening of the Vehicle Research Center. Since then, the Institute has conducted much of the research that has contributed to safer vehicles on US roads. At the anniversary event, current Institute chairman Gregory Ostergren of American National Property and Casualty summed up a commitment to continue what fellow insurers began in 1959: "On this golden anniversary of the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, we celebrate this organization's accomplishments toward safer drivers, vehicles, and roadways. We salute the vision of the Institute's founders and proudly continue their commitment to highway safety."


Nothing more to say really.

Fat Cars for Fat People

It makes sense somehow - if you're overweight, you need an overweight car.

Obama's obese limo got stuck in Ireland. He's not obese, but a helluva lot of his countrymen and women are. His presidential limo sure is.

Only in America could an obesity epidemic influence the automotive market. It seems that even as fuel prices skyrocket in Yankeeland, people still buy SUVs and the like because they're too big to be comfortable in vehicles that drivers in the rest of the world accept as "right-sized".

I guess if the natural order of things follows here, as it most often does, we'll continue to be saddled with the same lumps of automotive lard that have proliferated across the Pacific.

When you drive something as small as an MX5, it becomes an issue as many of the people driving Toyota Lardcruisers and the like simply don't see you.

One of the situations that often makes me smile is when I'm returning to my parked Mazda to be confronted with a driver (more often than not female) extracting a four-wheel drive from the front end of the parking space it's in, as they thought it was empty.

The diminutive proportions of the MX5 frequently fool them into thinking the space is free, and they are well and truly committed before they wake up. I always keep a straight face.

David Hack Meet

This meet was held yesterday, and I went along equipped with a marquee and chairs in the hope that members of the local MX5 chapter would turn up. They didn't, which probably had something to do with the fact that I didn't let them know.

This meant that I had plenty of time for photography, although I'd left my camera at home and had to make do with my iPhone. The quality of shots is therefore somewhat limited.

I concentrated on the weird and quirky.

This Renault 750 is indeed "not 750". It is in fact a 1600, with a worked Gordini motor stuffed into the rear end. It must be interesting on a wet road. I've been fascinated by these things since being whisked through Saigon traffic in a 750 taxi in 1970.

The exhaust plumbing is amazing.

This 1952 Cadilac was impressive. It must weigh about two metric tonnes, and provides an example of automotive opulence that we will never see again. It had tinted glass and a telescopic radio antenna, both ground-breaking in the day.

This beautiful Morris 6 was parked behind my car, and I had a yarn to its owner. He told me that it was assembled in Brisbane by a company called Charles Hope that made refrigerators. I remember my parents owning a Charles Hope kero fridge when I was a kid in the fifties. This particular car participated in a couple of royal tours back in the thirties.

There were a number of military vehicles on display. This is a 6X6 Studebaker. Again, I remember seeing them in Saigon.

As a twelve year old I used to muck about on my uncle's cane farm west of Mackay. He had one of these, an Armstrong-Siddeley ute which he used an unregistered farm runabout. He was mad enough to let me drive it, and I learnt a lot about basic car management behind the wheel of this thing.

 I never put a mark on it - lucky I guess.

There were the regulation MGBs. This is a very tidy example.

A straight eight Packard was displayed - purple in colour.

These Volkswagen Country Buggies were sold in 1968. They were a very useful vehicle, but Volkswagen Australia was in financial trouble at the time and production was curtailed.

There was an Antonov 2 giving joy-rides for $80 a throw. It was flying all day. The photo is pretty dreadful (the iPhone doesn't zoom well), so here is a link to a video.

Getting There

It’s half the fun – according to the cliché. That’s especially true if you drive an MX5. I’m always looking for an excuse to drive it long distances.

I decided to drive to Sydney (Gosford actually) to link up with three blokes from my rifle section in Vietnam, and march with them on Anzac Day. One was ill, so that left three of us.

I had the option of flying, but decided to drive the MX5. These things are meant to be driven, after all, and I may not get the chance again any time soon.

The route took me down the New England, stopping overnight at Tamworth.

This time of the year, the countryside is showing its autumn colour.

There were wallopers everywhere. I was breathalysed twice, once in Queensland, and once in NSW.

I really don’t mind this at all. It’s worth the slight inconvenience to keep the drunks off the road.

I bought a couple of bottles of wine on the Granite Belt.

 There was a relatively new Vietnam War memorial near Singleton, the location of my old recruit training battalion.

 And lots more colour in the country all the way to Gosford.

You can drive an MX5 in two different modes on a long journey. One is with the top stowed, the wind in the hair, taking in the smells and sounds of the countryside.

The other is with the top in place, and the air and stereo on.

Both have their place, but it's great to have the choice. 

On this trip I did both.